Raugh.

Up late, super-short time with the harp this morning, looking forward to getting back tonight. I’m traveling for work next week but look forward to ordering Betty Paret’s First Harp Book from Amazon when I get back. I really do want to have some exercises to do, things where I’m concerned more with technique than musicality, just to make sure that I’m not cutting a technique corner to make music when it’s something I do need to master. I’m disliking using my left-hand fingers close together fairly intensely, and can’t seem to suss out why I can do it with my right hand much more easily. It’s got to have something to do with the angle of the hand, the way it’s further from the harp and tilted differently, reaching across myself instead of just resting up against the strings like the right hand does. Very irritating. Exercises I think will help with this, so I’m not tempted to cut corners because it sounds fine when I do.

I also just … want to relax a bit, and not worry about music so much as just making pretty sounds and enjoying the movement of my hands. Exercises are a bit more friendly to that. I’m enjoying myself mostly when I just plink away in typical chord progressions, do arpeggios, and roll a few chords. I’m extremely type-A in most other aspects of my life and have been for as long as I can remember; I always need to be good at things, and I do pick things up very, very quickly — quickly enough to weird people out since I was born. My pace is generally strange compared to others; I go extremely quickly in some areas, and slowly in others, and they are never the areas where others go at that pace.

Anyway, right now, I just want to relax and amble on this instrument, and not push so damned much. I’m getting sick and tired of the mentality of always trying to Maximize Efficiency and Throughput™. The older I get, the more intellectually bankrupt that whole attitude seems to me, as much as the attitude that the rest of humanity takes of spending one’s life buying things, eating garbage food, and sitting on a couch exhorting a total stranger to buy a vowel. I want to be good on the harp, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to act like I’m being chased by pit bulls on my way there.

When I get home tonight, I’m going to work on arpeggios bouncing from I to IV to V, then to the relative minor (maybe ultimately with a lever flip in there someplace), then back to the V, then the I. Just making nice modulations.

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